He Doesn't Want To Give Me My Divorce
He Doesn't Want To Give Me My Divorce
By Shamsideen Giwa
Marriage is beautiful but sometimes we get to the point where we know in our hearts we are no longer interested and nothing can be done to fix it.
This is the point to move on.
Unfortunately, many get here in a state of fight and what already may be a painful process is then turned into a punishment and fight tool by the other.
It is common today to hear the statement "he doesn't want to give me my divorce", effectively ensuring the person stays tied in the marriage and unable to move on.
The idea is that for as long as you are still legally married to one, your profile would not only be less appealing to suitors but you'd also be unable to do much without being accused of infidelity.
This is a very poor approach, not only because deliberate hurt is intended to another but also to yourself.
There is no compulsion in marriage and try as you may, you cannot force a person to stay married to you this way.
In the end, said person would go to the courts and get you sorted anyway so why would you not take the easy way out?
We deal with issues of the heart differently. Sometimes, it is a way to keep things as they are while you try, sometimes it is as described above and other times, it is ego and the "if I can't have you, nobody can" mindset, but in the end, you make things difficult for yourself.
It is already unfortunate that you are having to discuss a divorce, don't use it as a victimisation tool. Do what's needed of you and let everyone go their separate ways in relative peace.
You also deserve the peace from it too.
Marriage is beautiful but sometimes we get to the point where we know in our hearts we are no longer interested and nothing can be done to fix it.
This is the point to move on.
Unfortunately, many get here in a state of fight and what already may be a painful process is then turned into a punishment and fight tool by the other.
It is common today to hear the statement "he doesn't want to give me my divorce", effectively ensuring the person stays tied in the marriage and unable to move on.
The idea is that for as long as you are still legally married to one, your profile would not only be less appealing to suitors but you'd also be unable to do much without being accused of infidelity.
This is a very poor approach, not only because deliberate hurt is intended to another but also to yourself.
There is no compulsion in marriage and try as you may, you cannot force a person to stay married to you this way.
In the end, said person would go to the courts and get you sorted anyway so why would you not take the easy way out?
We deal with issues of the heart differently. Sometimes, it is a way to keep things as they are while you try, sometimes it is as described above and other times, it is ego and the "if I can't have you, nobody can" mindset, but in the end, you make things difficult for yourself.
It is already unfortunate that you are having to discuss a divorce, don't use it as a victimisation tool. Do what's needed of you and let everyone go their separate ways in relative peace.
You also deserve the peace from it too.